From the Ashers - Stories from us, The Ashers
Home
BLOG
    Latest Blogs
    Beautiful Things
    Creativity
    Kids
    Family
    Food
    Hitwave Alison
    Life
    Music
    Weekends
    Writing
MEMBERS
    SECRET ASHER STORIES
    BECOME A MEMBER
    Login
    My Account
About Me
Contact Alison
From the Ashers - Stories from us, The Ashers
  • Home
  • BLOG
    • Latest Blogs
    • Beautiful Things
    • Creativity
    • Kids
    • Family
    • Food
    • Hitwave Alison
    • Life
    • Music
    • Weekends
    • Writing
  • MEMBERS
    • SECRET ASHER STORIES
    • BECOME A MEMBER
    • Login
    • My Account
  • About Me
  • Contact Alison
Tag:
funeral
Life

Hayley Robinson Cushan

02/10/2013 by Alison Asher 5 Comments

Today we had a funeral.  I didn’t expect it.  But if you have been following along, then you know that already.

A few years ago, Hayley and I decided you could only have a few really close friends in your life.  Five, or maybe seven at most.

I was Hayley’s third best friend.  And at her funeral today, as her third best friend, this is what I said:

 

Hayley and I are only friends because of cancer.

We met when she came home to be diagnosed, and embark on her treatment.

We first met at CCK, the chiropractic office I was working in at the time, but we really became friends after meeting up at the Koala Bar in Noosa.  We had both gone there to see a band, independently, and found each other by chance.  I impressed Hayls with my Jump Dancing skills, (which are legion by they way), and we were friends from then on.

*****

We were able to become close friends because of cancer.

Hayley wasn’t working at that stage, as she was devoting all of her energy to various things;

  • strengthening her body,
  • clearing her mind,
  • eating nurturing organic food,
  • and of course, getting ready to meet John, the love of her life, for the second time.

We used to spend endless hours lunching at the Organic Cafe, or swimming laps at Coolum pool, with lots of time to chat about all of the things under the sun.  We thought we had forever.

When I was pregnant with Liam, Hayls told me that she would be “Aunty Hayley” and I agreed.  I don’t have a sister, and having a pretend sister such as Hayls was a gift and a joy.  I liked to think that people would hear Liam, and later, Coco, say “Aunty Hayley” and think we were actual sisters.

My ‘little sister’ made me laugh more than anyone in the world.

She softened my sharp edges.

She made me irreverent, made me swear, made me play, made me light.

I could tell her anything.

I could do anything, dream anything.

I could be my whole truth.

Because she encouraged such things.

So now the very thing that gave me my friend, my honorary sister, has taken her away.

*****

A patient of mine told me last week that she believes some people build bridges toward others, that they have a talent for bringing people close.   Hayley was one of those people.   She built roads and tracks and pathways to entwine, and join us all together.  She did it with her cheeky sense of humour, her naughtiness, her strength and her gutsiness, her loyalty and dependability, and her laugh, always her laugh.  She built bridges to us all, and she built them well.

Hayley was a chef of food of course, but she was also a chef of the soul.  It’s like she could take a little piece of you, the very piece that you liked the most about yourself, and then she would roll it and knead it and carefully bake it until it was all plumped up, making you better than you were before.  It’s how she made her markings on your heart.

She named her cafe Sister, and even though I know it was meant for Rick and Belinda and Hayley, I like to imagine that she meant it for all of us.  I like to think, that with the laughter that was always just under the surface, and ready to burst forth, and the truthfulness that was always, always there, that she made us all her sisters.

Those of you who know me, will know I love a good literary reference, and so today I would like share with you a reading.  It’s called ‘The Best Friends Book’.

(Sorry blog readers: I gave the book to darling Olive, but it is by Todd Parr.. I did intend to take a pic of it to show you, but, well, I don’t think I was at my bloggy best…  The last line is: )

“Best friends stay close even if they are a million miles away.”

*****

Oh Halys, I wish you weren’t a million miles away.

 

 

 

Cheers.  I might* be pissed as I post this. Sorry if it’s a bit rough.  I’m not proof-reading.

 

*Am

 

logo_heart.png

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Share:

Recent Posts

  • Of Course 20/09/2021
  • Waiting to Exhale 17/09/2021
  • Hey Rick, Bit Weird 15/09/2021
  • Somedays We Bop 13/09/2021
  • In Love With Love 31/08/2021
  • Homage to Carla, Part 2 26/08/2021

Blog Roll

  • Woogsworld
  • Styling You

Recommended Links

  • Chicks Who Click
  • Quest Chiropractic Coaching

Recent Comments

  • Alison Asher on Hey Rick, Bit Weird: “I love that Paul. That smile! (And daring you.. she was always the most daring wasn’t she?)” Sep 16, 09:48
  • Alison Asher on Hey Rick, Bit Weird: “OH Tan, I didn’t know you had the boots! I’m so pleased as I never wanted them to go to…” Sep 16, 07:30
  • Tania on Hey Rick, Bit Weird: “Love it. I have those bloody cowboy boots in my wardrobe and they will never leave my side. Just loved…” Sep 15, 22:29
  • PB on Hey Rick, Bit Weird: “My memory shifts between the intensity of her eyes when she spoke to me…..controlling me ,enveloping me, daring me ….to…” Sep 15, 21:49
  • Alison Asher on Hey Rick, Bit Weird: “Oh Trace. I’m so sorry to hear that. One foot in front of the other, ‘eh? Do you have a…” Sep 15, 18:42
  • Tracy K-S on Hey Rick, Bit Weird: “Good reflection for me on what has been a tough few weeks. A new friend was diagnosed with cancer today…” Sep 15, 18:35

View Blog Categories

  • Beautiful Things
  • Chiropractic
  • Creativity
  • Family
  • Food
  • Hitwave Alison
  • Inspo stuff
  • Kids
  • Life
  • Music
  • Secret Asher Stories
  • Travel
  • Weekends
  • Writing

© 2020 Alison Asher | Privacy Policy