Liam has just turned ten. He is medium sized, blonde and a little on the skinny side. So not at all precociously developed. He wears size eight clothes.
He came to Nath yesterday rubbing his upper lip.
Liam: Dad, I think I’m about to hit puberty.
(He is desperate for puberty because he is hoping to get pimples. Yes, he is my son.)
Nathan: What makes you think that mate?
(As clearly it is not the presence of any primary sexual characteristics that has prompted this thought.)
Liam: It’s just that I seem to be developing quite quickly at the moment. Check out my moustache. It’s still blonde, but as you can see, it’s really coming along.
(There is no visible evidence of said moustache.)
(Not wanting to offend Liam’s impending Manhood.)
Liam: I know, it’s weird right? I mean, usually it’s usually the other way around, you get the pubic hair and all that, and then secondary sexual characteristics come, well, second. I’m doing it in reverse order. Weird.
(Nathan now has nothing. He isn’t even sure what is a primary or a secondary trait.)
Liam: I reckon I’ll have to shave by Christmas as this rate.
(Liam walks off, talking to himself about Pokemon, in a voice so high pitched canines were cowering in Cooory.)
…From The Ashers xx