So, friends of the blog, old and new. Here we are again. They tell me that blogging isn’t really a thing any more, and I get it: it’s another thing for you to look at, yet another job to do, and of course you have to actually find blog amongst all of the things that are flashing through your algorithm. Will you even be able to notice me? (See me, notice me, adore me). I see that the pundits are all over Substack and that’s where I am now supposed to share my heart. The thing is, I feel like I might have hit peak saturation for learning new platforms, and this happened unfortunately before Substack came out. I mean sure, I dutifully created an account and all, but I don’t think I can learn one.more.thing. At least not in this general area. I am soothed by THIS familiar template and blog knows how to draw the words out of me. I heard that Neil Gamin writes longhand and transcribes his stuff, becoming his first edit, but I just got a handache from the pen and a headache trying to decipher my pretend-doctor’s writing. I read that Cormac McCarthy wrote on an Olivetti, so I had a little go of that, and even though a manual typewriter was where learnt to touch-type, pushing those keys down is hard with these fancy nails, plus, my accuracy is down these days (under 90% on a recent typing test) so that got tiresome very quickly. For a little while I tried the longer FB post thing, but it was a bit like those Bunnings-style fruit and veg shops littered around the suburbs in the late 80s: NQR.

So here we are.

I want to write you some things, and I hope you might read them. I’m just not sure how you will find me, because the Instabook algorithm sure as heck doesn’t like me taking you away from the scrollhole and over to another piece virtual realestate.

Perhaps if we are going to have a fling, you and I, you might have to send me a message of some sort, and tell me where we can meet up. Tell me how you found blog, let me know if we can have another date here, or if I really do need to pop on some lippy and get an uber over to Substack. Back in the day we used to get our blogalicious content delivered straight to our RSS feeds, but is that even a thing any more? If we are relying on socials to get us together, then I think we might be doomed before we even get to first base. So how are we gonna do this honey? I’ll wait for you to swipe.

Too fancy to type