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Creativity•Life•Writing

Wowsers

12/10/2020 by Alison Asher No Comments
Here's me. Shame about the contour map on my face, but I am one happy camper right now.
Well hello there!

So it looks like blog might be back.

When the lovely young fellow from the hosting service managed to free things up and I could have a little peep behind the curtain here, for a moment I thought I’d turned into a virus or something. FIVE HUNDRED and ninety four comments. The most I’ve ever had. To be honest peeps, for one magical moment back there at 4.32pm, I thought I was a proper author.

So much lovely from BrandonWang and KeithNob. Beautiful suggestions for some shemale action from SlappingLesbian. And the alluring offer of various medications to make things bigger, harder, longer or just more healthy (yep you can get antibiotics with your authentix (sic) Nike Airs) from most of Russia and half of Germany.

The joys of the interwebz.

Anyway, this is just a little warm up to get my phalanges pumping (no, don’t send me a pill) and my synapses singing.

See y’all soon.

PS Feel free to comment. But don’t worry too much about the myrrh next time (or merkins for that matter).


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Beautiful Things•Creativity•Family•Life•Writing

Liz Gilbert Creativity Challenge*: When I was 8

rollerskates
25/07/2016 by Alison Asher No Comments

rollerskates

That was then, this is now

 

When I was eight years old I got my first pair of roller-skates.

I woke up on Christmas morning with anticipation that shimmered in front of me like the gauzy curtain of a boudoir. I ripped it aside with nary a thought of how it may have been thoughtfully placed to create a mood, such was my desire and my need.

I ran to the box that was the size and the shape and the heft of the things I had been wishing for since at least November, which of course was the same as forty-seven years in my eight year old chronoestimation. I held the box in my hands and waited a century-second before hungrily tearing off the slippery-gaudy-cheap paper. Skates. At last. Skates.

The wrong skates.

My heart stopped beating for a moment-year, and I buried my face in the remnants of that gaudy paper, ashamedly scratching away the look of horror, before my parents could see what the face of an ungrateful child looked like.

The skates were white, yes. The wheels were red, yes. They were boots, yes. But they were Hang Ten. I wanted Redstones. More than wanted: I needed Redstones. In that moment of complete and total disappointment, I knew that there was nothing I could do, and that I would never have Redstone skates. The part of my forebrain that somehow knew things that adults knew, was aware that this was probably my one shot. My one chance at owning Redstone roller-skates. And now it was gone. So close / so far.

I forced a smile to my mouth and to my eyes, and carefully laced the hideous wrong-skates. My parents were overfrothing with the happy that comes from seeing their child truly love the carefully-chosen gift so much, that they can’t even speak. I couldn’t speak.

To keep my hands from shaking and my from eyes crying, I began the soothing task of lacing, and once done, I slowly made my way down the slick cement front steps. Each step was heavy with the despair of the wrong-skates. I took a deep breath, bent my knees slightly to get my centre of gravity just so, and pushed off down our driveway.

The skates rolled forward like nothing I’d ever felt before. They had a power of their own. I barely needed to push- I was gliding, gliding, flying, gliding.

“Am I flying? I think I’m flying!” I screamed so the people two streets over, behind the Henwood’s double storey house could hear. “These skates are AMAAAAZING.”

I skate-flew out onto the road, and lifted up to the touch the lowest lying clouds with the three lateral fingers of my left hand. From my place above the world I looked back to see my Mum and Dad below: she leaning into the space at the front of his chest where she fitted like a nesting cup, he with a grin that threatened to split his head open like the watermelon on that weird knife ad.

I think I heard him shout, “I know you wanted Redstones, but the Hang Tens have better bearings. They’ll roll better.”

I didn’t exactly know what that meant, but that day I knew without a doubt what considered, quiet, caring, love meant.

It meant Hang Ten skates.

The very best kind of love. Love that makes you fly.

 

…From The Ashers

 

*This was created from a prompt from Liz Gilbert’s creativity challenge: What did you most love to do when you were eight? It was supposed to take 20mins. I failed- this took me 37minutes. Oh well. Close, as they say, but no cigar.

What did YOU love to do when you were eight years old? Do you still do it?

Why not?

I mean that- why the hell not?

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Writing

By Way Of Explanation…

31/03/2015 by Alison Asher 14 Comments

Hmmm…

So it seems that things have changed around here. (See what happens when time marches on? Things even look different.)

 

Have you changed too?

 

Firstly, an apology: I know said I would keep blogging over the holidays, but I lied. Not intentionally, but a lie none-the-less.

I did intend to blog, but one thing lead to another, and having brothers who mockingly call this thing “Dear Diary” and a Mum that I’m pretty sure hates any personal information being shared on the Socials, I felt ashamed/weird/silly to blog the holidays away. To be honest I think I would have preferred being caught red-faced having a date with Palmela Handerson, than tapping away on these keys and pressing climax publish.

And then  as the days wore on, so much happened, and I just couldn’t keep up. The list of potential blog posts in my head just grew and grew, and before too long I realised there was no way of ever catching up. So my brain sped up and up and it was like a mouse running, running on its tiny wheel, so I had to force it to stop. The thoughts then grew plump and over-ripe and  rotted to ruins, like plums on the footpath, with that sweetsickystickystench to flare your nostrils and as you walk quickly by.

And every day that went by, it became easier and easier to simply not blog. I was still writing of course, for without this tap tap tap of the keyboard I don’t know what to think, but just nothing fit for your eyes. Or perhaps I underestimate you, and your ability to listen without judgement.

I became self-conscious. I imagined this writing process to be like some excruciating public speaking gig, where you stare at me with your arms folded,  and I try to make you laugh and cry, despite yourself. Tough crowd. Not pleasant.

This self-consciousness expanded to my subject matter. Instead of From The Ashers simply being a forum of my experiments in thet written word, I forgot that this is my space,  and you are my guests. Free to come and go as you please.

Instead I started to think that you can choose the content and I had better deliver what you want. Even though I have no idea what that actually is. I felt bad that I wanted to talk to you about death and grief and despair. I thought that you’d probably had enough of my self-absorbed public whining, and that I was (am?) here to entertain you.

But of course that’s not the case is it, not really.

I can talk about whatever I want here: this is my piece of peace and virtual real estate, and I can say whatever the fuck I like, within my own rules of decorum. I’m allowed.

So what will blog be like? I have no idea.

What will the blog schedule be? Again: no idea.

I have a new job, so time might be managed differently and posting could be sporadic. Perhaps I can find out how to let you subscribe so you will get updates when I post. That would make sense.

Will I still be sharing stories from my heart? Yes. That won’t change. I’m always writing about them in my mind anyway, so I might as well pop them up here in case you want to have a look. In fact, the way I make sense of this world is through the written world, it seems I know no other way. So be warned: thoughts will just flood onto the page, largely unedited (as I see when I browse through old posts. *Shudder*)

This was on my Insta from Kelly Exeter... Nails it.

This was on my Insta from Kelly Exeter… Nails it.

 

Will there be ads on here? I bloody hope so. Some day I hope someone will just walk right up to me and say: can we advertise on your blog? If they do, in the interests of full disclosure and petty bragging, I will tell you, although I guess you will know, for I’ll be driving around in a fully restored FB Holden, with a tricked up Kombi for weekends.

Will there be a book? Perhaps. One day. When I create a workable and reliable Delorean. Hopefully that’s soon, because my kids are growing up so quickly I need to slow things right down, lest I miss a minute. (Plus I said something thoughtless yesterday, that I’d like to go back and erase.)

So I’ve done the WordPress update, and it appears that I don’t have the dottie background or my old headings saved anywhere on this thing. So for now (or maybe forever, or at least until someone comes and fixes it for me), it’s triangles.

Or nothing.

Welcome back you, welcome back me.

It’s good to see you.

 

…From The Ashers xx

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Writing

Blogging On The Run

America sign
14/12/2014 by Alison Asher No Comments

This is a practice blog, to see if I can actually do it, then stand to do it from my ipad.

I MAY have mentioned that we are GOING TO AMERICA for Christmas, and I know you’ll all be gagging for my hilarious updates on the state of the nation, so I have to decide: to Macbook, or not to Macbook?

Will this tiny screen and keyboard made for hamsters (See? I’m already talking like a Seppo) drive me slowly insane? Or will the superior charge-holding abilities, the lighter weight, and the fact that it doesn’t toast my (now practically obsolete) ovaries to cinders when I have it on my knees, finally win out?

All shall be revealed when I try to import a picture presently, and then view the preview, check for dreaded typos etc….

It’s taxing stuff, this blogging caper.

 

PS I know you don’t give a rat’s, but I was typing this anyway, so I thought I might as well publish. Sharing is caring, right?

America sign

PPS I did it!! And I didn’t even have to ask the Evil Geniuses once!!!  My computery skills know no bounds. Nor does my use of extraneous exclamation points!

!!!!

!!

…From The Ashers

 

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Writing

Confession Time

19/11/2014 by Alison Asher 6 Comments

Confession Time:

I want to write a book.

There, I said it, and in a little while, I am going to press publish on this blog post, and anyone who casually stops by my little haven in the internet will know too. I have written a lot of things on here since I started blogging, some of them quite personal I suppose, so much so that I now think of myself as one of those over-sharing people, for whom life doesn’t seem to happen unless they tell the world about it, whether the world is listening or not.

You RRs know I’ve been reading a goal setting book, and one of the things that Matthew says is key to realisation of goals, is telling others about them. And I think he is correct in that. Usually if I want to do something I parp on and on about it, boring everyone around me to dust until the groundswell is such that I can’t help but do the thing in question.

Writing has never been like that for me.

I read something by Stephen King (the greatest modern author) years ago where he said that he often has people approach him saying that they too want to write a book. They even outline the plot to him, (as if he could care), talking talking about their amazing book idea, but never doing any of the actual writing. He said that writers don’t talk about writing a book- they just write one. And if my memory serves me correctly, he says they write not so much because they want to, but because they must.

So forever I have kept my secret hidden.

I have always written little bits and pieces for my own amusement, or for a small audience, and I have been kindly received. People who already know, and I assume, like me, have said nice things. Some of them have compared my scratchings to proper authors they have read. Others have said that my scribblings could be a book. I have just smiled a sanguine smile, thanked them and said, “No, I’m a chiropractor.” As though having a real job precludes me from ever doing anything else.

I think it is telling, that a close friend once read this little blog, looked me in the eye and said, “You were born to do this.” I have done lots of cool things in my life. I have had a flukey and fortunate existence, with minimal trauma, and much success. But when my friend said that, I grabbed and clutched that precious gem and squirrelled it away, burying it deep in my heart, just behind the first ventricle, where it could sit, safe and heavy, so I could always know where it was.

 

Confession Part Two:

I started this blog as writing practice.

That’s it. I didn’t really do it to entertain and interact with you. I didn’t have a great product idea. I didn’t want to be useful to you. I’m sorry lovelies, but as usual. this blog wasn’t all about you, it was all about me. The very idea behind it was to start exercising my writing muscles, for as you know, neurones that fire together, wire together, and I suspected that getting into a regular writing commitment would make the words flow. Which is true. They do mostly, sometimes spilling forth like so much frothy diarrhoea, my fingers flying across they keyboard in a frenzy as the words jostle to be heard.

A friend told me that an author (I think it was Bob Hawke’s wife, Blanche) was asked when the best time to write. She said, “The muse shows up when you show up.” I think she might be right. The problem is eeking out a time to show up. I sometimes feel like making time to write steals from my family, which I cannot do, and also other important and fulfilling tasks like paying phone bills and cleaning bathrooms.

I read a book recently by Cartoon Dave (Dave Hackett) a local guy who I know to be full of energy and fun. I think I kind of assumed he sat down every morning, did a few cartoons, maybe organised his next shoot time for his television show and then put in some good solid writing hours before doing the school run. Then I read in the acknowledgements that he thanked coffee, for all the 4am starts. So writing the book wasn’t necessarily easy for Dave, but he found a way to make it happen.

 

Confession Part Three:

I hate early mornings.

Always have. I’m a night person, but somehow I don’t think I’m going to get a book written by staying up after midnight every night. Even for me, Night Owl in Big Glasses, it might be too much of a stretch. I am part of a whole lot of closed groups on FB, and one of them is with a bunch of incredibly motivated people who are in a 5am club. They get up every morning at 5am and do STUFF. I am never up at 5am. However, lately the idea has been kicking around in my temporal lobe I think, and it has taken to communicating to some melatonin, and for the last week I have been waking at 4.45am. I don’t like it, not one bit, so I roll over with a huff, and try to go back to sleep. But the idea keeps tickling away at my corpus callosum.

So today, this blog is brought to you by the number 5.

I did it. I got up at 5am (which is not really a big deal- in Queensland we don’t have daylight savings- it would fade our curtains- so at 5am it’s perfectly light, and already warm). Still, it’s a start.

So if this post is particularly long and winding, it’s because I’m partly delirious and mostly still addled with the stuff of my dreams.

Hence the confessional.

I guess it’s like being in the little box, with the priest next door. You know he’s there, you know he’s probably listening, but still you go on. Still you say things that afterwards you wonder why, but somehow the safety of the darkness and the sweet invigoration of getting something off your chest and into the world makes you jump off.

So here goes.

I’m not going to edit this post, or even re-read it, lest I chicken out. Apologies in advance for typos. I’m about to jump. I hope I can fly.

 

 

…From The Ashers

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Writing

Words

04/11/2014 by Alison Asher 2 Comments

I know it’s hard to believe, with all of the opinions and ideas that I have about everything under the sun, but I have a bit of a blogging block this week. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still thinking of millions of things to annoy you with, but somehow I just can’t seem to find the words. Or the right words at least.

Everything I try to write is coming out either overly melancholy, or derivative or just plain boring.

I saw a quote today:

“If the words you spoke appeared on your skin, would you still be beautiful?”

-Simply Chiropractic

I kind of feel like that applies to my blogging this week.

And if the words can’t make things more beautiful or add something to the world or at least be gorgeous in their own right, then I think I’d prefer to not say anything at all.

I’ll be back soon.

Hopefully tomorrow.

…From The Ashers

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