A lady I much admire for her ability to tell it like it is, Mrs.Woog once wrote a post about her “diamond shoes being too tight”. Oh how I laughed at the time. So funny, Mrs.Woog, so funny.
Well, it pains me to tell you, that today, not only are my diamond shoes too tight, they seem to have given me a small blister. In the following, I shall outline to you all of the things that have caused this calamity.
- I was woken this morning* at 4.15am by a child who was wide awake, and would not go back to sleep. No bribe, threat or IOS device would
shut her the hell upcalm her.
- I made myself a
deliciousdrinkable coffee from my Nespresso machine. I spilled most of said coffee.
- I then made myself some yummy eggs, free range, and given to me for free. One was rotten. Really rotten. I was faced with a tri-lemma: eat rotten egg, have only one egg, make another egg.
- I went to get dressed and found that my
maidhusband had ironed everything. Except the top I wanted to wear.
- It rained a little bit on my newly washed, new car (aka Miss Xtrailia 2013) on the way to school
- I had a patient forget his last appointment, and he promised me a Lamborghini as recompense. This is the Lamborghini I received.
All this, and it’s only midday.
So I shall leave off now, lest I tempt fate and create space for more evils to befall me.
As reward for the horrors I have survived this day, I will be eating the pictured cupcake,
stolen acquired from The Son’s birthday cache. I’m wearing a white top (un-ironed). What could possibly go wrong?
*4.15am is NOT morning. It is dark. This means it is night. The end.
Do you too have a blister from your diamond shoes? C’mon, share!