How do you handle setbacks in your life?
I had a little setback yesterday, nothing major, it just seems that some things that might have been going to happen quite quickly might take a little longer. No big deal, and if I’m to be honest, it is probably better anyway, as I was moderately stressed about putting my toe in the water with these two new, and quite different ventures.
It has been interesting to observe myself though, to see how it is that I ‘do’ disappointment.
1. Act as if it’s all cool. You know, the drill: fake it a bit, until the new information can be assimilated, but in the meantime, pretend that, yeah, no worries, she’ll be right, it’s all good, no probs, and on and on until my brain is going to explode from all the bullshit. I might also go further than to pretend I didn’t really want that thing, into making up a shit-hot story as to why, even though all of the available facts show otherwise, someone has made a mistake, and I’ll soon get to do or have what I thought I was getting. So I guess stage one is basically just denial.
2. Get a bit pissed off. Here I’ll usually be a bit cross that I didn’t get/have/do the thing I wanted. I’ll probably sulk a bit, because that my friends, is something that I’m pretty bloody adept at. Might as well play to my strengths. So this could pretty much be the anger stage.
3. This is a good stage (it’s not really, I’m really bullshitting you again now), this is where ‘if only’ is on high revolution. If only I’d…. If only things were…. etc until everyone around me is about to spontaneously implode from all the whinging.
4. Attack of the sads. I’m ridiculously bad at crying, unless there is a chocolate emergency, but I can do a good old sook if required. If I need to actually shed tears, because you know sometimes only actually salt-drips will do, then it’s time to dust off the old copy of Bridges of Madison County or E.T. and get the ducts a’flowing.
5. There really is no five. I just go back to 1. and pop this list on repeat until I end up getting so sick of myself that I either ‘shit or get off the pot’. Usually I shit. Because if anything is important enough to get past stage one, then it is probably worth it. Or at least worth having a dip.
Interestingly, my setback stages are pretty much the Kubler-Ross Model of Grief, (although step five by her reckoning is acceptance- you can guess what I think of that as an idea) and that makes me wonder, do other people also run through this little schematic when things don’t go to plan, or when they just feel like being a big baby? Or is it just me? I guess I really am a psychologist’s dream…
Do you run through the stages? Do you get stuck on one of them?
P.S. Talking of Big Big Babies, check out this. No, I don’t know what the hell is going on with it either, but I do know the Evil Geniuses like to say “There’s a chicken in a box do you like my socks? Boom. They’re elasticated” more than is humanly necessary. So there’s that.
You’re welcome. (Warning: it can’t be unseen)
…From The Ashers xx