Today I had a feeling of overwhelm. You know those days, when the whelm just threatens to go over you all day? I had no idea of the source, so I just went about my business.

I had a First Aid course to attend, and it was okay. The young presenter was a nice young fella, and he kept the information relevant and as interesting as these kinds of refresher things can be. The content was moving along smoothly, we talked about all things cardiovascular and defebrilley until it was time to get out the mannequins. The demonstrator got out the adult torso and showed us how to compress the chest to a one third depth, to the tune of Stayin’ Alive (One hundred compressions a minute) followed by a breath. No sweat.

Then he got out the kid torso.

I’m not sure if it was the way he picked it up, cradling it carefully like it was an unconscious child, or if it was because, as he lifted it up I flashed back to the time when Coco had a general anaesthetic, and I held her, as she went off to sleep. But that was like no sleep I have ever seen. Her head lolled back and her eyes rolled back in her head, and she was literally a dead weight. Not a good thing to be thinking when you are handing your child over for surgery. I fought back the tears in case there was something in the theory of energy transfer and she would absorb my fears. I kept on thinking, “dead weight dead weight”, then, “don’t think dead, don’t think dead”, and then of course my brain couldn’t think of any other word.

So as our instructor lifted that tiny little torso onto the table to show us how we might bring it (her?) back from the dead, I nearly lost it. My eyes started that burning that means I’m close to crying and I all I could think was, “don’t cry he will think you’re nuts, don’t cry he will think you’re nuts” and then of course my brain just heard crycrycrycry.

The child mannequin that did not look like a child at all. Except to me.

So maybe I am a bit nuts. Or have a wild imagination. Or both.

Then tonight I read Eden’s blog, and I cried for real, so I decided if I was already crying I might as well be nuts as well, so I made a video of me trying to lip-sync to The Black Widow.

I don’t know if if will help Eden at all, but it helped me. Turns out that maybe Eden is right, and music is up there with food as one of our basic needs.

Maybe you could give it a try today too.

Sing out people.

Let the world hear your song.

Have you entered yet? What is “your” song?

…From The Ashers