This week Unit One called Unit Two a penis. Unit Two cried. Unit One now has the power, and he is wielding it well.
This week both Units went to school with Nanny for Grandparent’s Day. Without my supervision. I wasn’t concerned.
They had a conversation in the back of her very fancy car about various things, which resulted in one calling the other an “effing idiot”. Exactly that. They didn’t say “Fucking idiot” and I’m editing here, lest your bottom prickles when you read a swear, they actually said “effing”. Nanny said she didn’t think that was appropriate (of course she did- this is the woman who says “sugar” instead of shit, and has never, to my knowledge said “bum”, or even farted out loud) but my feral children assured her they were allowed to say “effing” as long as they didn’t say the real word.
They are not allowed.
But I got in trouble from my Mother nonetheless. Little shits.
And here they are today:
Playing in the dunes together, like the best
penis and vagina friends they are.
And flying kites.
Butter wouldn’t melt in their effing mouths.
Do your kids get you in trouble with your Mum too?