A Bit Weird

I have been a bit off the bloggy RADAR at the end of last week and then again yesterday, because I’m feeling a bit weird.

We had a big end to the week, with a big relief.

We are lucky.

When we go to the hospital, we are in the Paediatrics ward, so obviously there are lots of sick kids, who are mostly admitted with things that are acute but transient.

The kids go home.

And they go home well.

Sometimes the kids have chronic things, like our kid does.

Those kids go home too.

And they go home pretty well.

But then there are the kids that have a thing that doesn’t fit into either the acute or chronic category. They have a thing that fits into the terminal category.

By and by, they go home too.

But they don’t go home well. We all know why they go home, but we won’t think it-won’t imagine it-won’t say it.

Instead we will light candles, say prayers, make wishes, bargain with a higher power, get Facebook likes for them, send quotes, stay positive, raise money, raise awareness, send positive thoughts, share their story, wear a ribbon, do anything except think about the reality.

There is a local kid who has been popping up in my Facebook feed over the last little while. I don’t know him, or his family, but I know people who know him. So I know he has come home. Just like we did last Friday. But we came home to laughter and energy and relief. Sweet relief for another few months. We felt the heaviness pushing on the backs of our necks evaporate like so much vapour.

They didn’t.

And that makes me feel a bit weird.


I hope you heal little dude. I hope your parents get to feel the heaviness leave. I hope it with all my heart.

…From The Ashers xx