There’s a funny old buzz going on isn’t there? A kind of frenetic energy, that can put you on edge and make you feel like you are perched right up on the brink of something, and you are gripping on with the knuckles of your toes, hoping against hope that you don’t slip. So you breathe shallow gasps, hoping you don’t flare your nostrils too much, upsetting the fragile balance you’ve created, and causing you to plummet to… something.

Except the dreaded abyss is something lovely and enjoyable and very safe.

And the security that you are so afraid of letting go of is just this day, mixed with the fear that you might have forgotten something.

I forgot two things yesterday.

They both involved spending time with other people. They were both things that I had said that I would only “pop in” to later on, as I had a house full of kids and Nath was working, but still. I actually forgot. Long after the children were all scooped up by their parents and Nath was home and hosed, we settled down to a late afternoon cuppa and I remembered the things I had forgotten.

Of course I will apologise and I’m sure they didn’t even miss me, but still. I’m sad to have missed out, and I’m annoyed that I didn’t even check the calendar to see where I was supposed to be.

So the feeling of “what else have I forgotten?” just won’t leave me today. Like Santa, I have been making a list and checking it (more than) twice, hoping that I will remember to do ALL OF THE THINGS. Of which there aren’t many- it is for this very reason that I get everything sorted early- my memory just can’t be relied upon when it comes to school holidays. It seems that with the shedding of the routine and the uniforms, comes a shedding of my short term memory, and all I can deal with is the stuff right in front of me.

So if you are feeling a bit like me, take heart, and see all of the things I have forgotten this last week: a 40th birthday, a coffee with a friend, a present for one of our kids, an accommodation booking in a very busy place over Xmas, Santa photos, three things from the food shopping list, another present from a shop on order, a visit to Optus to change for OS, a patient call, turning the dishwasher on overnight (stinky), that Howard’s Storage World isn’t even at the shopping centre any more (I went there anyway and come home with, er, other stuff), to book the kids into care for one day, a Christmas party and to change my blood donation appointment (fixed that)… I’m sure there’s more, but, um, I’ve forgotten them so far.

So today I’m going to: breathe deeply, forgive myself, and jump off that ledge instead of gripping on so tightly.

Who knows? I might fly.

…From The Ashers

Here are the hits for you… A litle late I know, the 5am club went on strike today. I guess it was all of the WEEK adding up.. It’s been a bit of a rollercoaster.

1.  BLOOD DONORS BLOOD DONORS.

The kid got her top up of the good stuff this week- a little earlier than anticipated, but still in great timing for the festive season. So, I’d like to send out a big thank you and virtual cuddle to all of the wonderful blood donors who give up their precious red stuff for our kid, and kids just like her. Without you we wouldn’t have much of a life, to be honest, and we definitely wouldn’t be able to GO TO THE USA for our Festivus celebrations. THANKYOU ONE AND ALL.

2.  All of my wonderful patients, who, without even a hint of grumbling annoyance, rescheduled their appointments so that we could go ahead with point 1 above. I am so lucky to have such a gorgeous group of lovely, understanding people to work with. Blessed I tells ya!

3.  You lot.

This week I have had such lovely feedback about the blog. I have had people complimenting my writing, telling me they like coming here to visit, sharing with me the things that make them laugh and cry as they sponge up my tales of whinging and general carry on. We might be perched here in a tiny little corner of the internet, but to all of you who come on over and read From The Ashers, thank you. Thanks for reading, commenting, sharing and just generally being part of this community. I love that you bother to stop by.

4.  This book.

I finally have a copy in my hot little hands, and almost want to cry just looking at the cover. It was written by the clever, humble, patient and incredibly persistent Allison Paterson. I’ve only read a tiny bit so far, but I can already tell it’s going to be a cracker. I’m so proud of her for forging ahead with this massive project, creating this important work and giving heart to these pieces of Australian History.

5.  All of the small things.

The delicious crumble of home-made shortbread. The sound of rain on our tin roof at night. The snuffling movements of our children sleeping. The gentle winking of Christmas lights. The joyful noise of children splashing in the pool. The salty fragrance of warm, wet air. The crackling anticipation of the record player. The pungent smell of the first coffee of the day in my hideous Christmas Mug. The delivery of gifts from far away. Colourful paper. Curling ribbon. People who say thank you and mean it. Fresh new haircuts. Juicy Summer fruits. Laughing with friends. Silly Christmas movies. Getting dinner cooked for me. Music. New ideas. Almost sunburnt skin. The calming lull of cricket on the telly. Home-brewed ginger beer. Long days. The whisper of ceiling fans that stir the hairs on my arms. Life.

Small things. But they add up okay. They make a big life.

So what are your hits people? Any big wins this week? (Don’t be shy- we are a community, remember.)

…From The Ashers

By all reports, things have officially gone nuts “out there”, so I have retired to what I like to call THE COMPOUND. I do it every year around this time. All you extraverts can have the shops to yourselves. I’m IN for the Season.

Once school breaks up I try not to go out in the world if I can at all help it. To get to the beach I go out my back gate and cross the road, so I include that as my compound. I may occasionally be spotted in public places when the lure of fancy champagne gets too great, but I keep my appearances fleeting.

Working from home has compounded my compound lifestyle, and one holiday season I only drove the car twice in three weeks, (which is my personal record). It was an amazing feeling once I jumped back behind the wheel- I felt like a P-Plater again, and if it wasn’t for the babyseats in the back, I reckon Nath might have found out the full benefits of the modern split-seat configurations.

It appears the children have inherited the hermit gene, as they have not asked once to go out into the world. I suggested we pop to the shops today, for I am in desperate need of some Pearl Cous Cous, and they wrinkled up their freckled little noses and said, “Can’t Dad get it on the way home?”

Yes, my little troglodytes, he can. Rest easy, you can stay in your pjs this day.

So, as I have no news from the outside world, I thought I would share with you some of the Christmassy things from The Compound. It turns out, that not only am I a recluse, I am a crazy one. No, it’s not cats I collect (One #shitcat is enough thanks). My collectables are all things Christmas. (Oh, and Pez dispensers, but that’s a story for another day).

So here are a couple of things from my collection of christmascrap:

The “Elf Truck”.
My biggest festive success and failure in one handy truck.
Success: the kids go NUTS over the fact that the elves deliver two tiny presents into the corresponding drawer every.single.night.
Failure: See ‘success’ above. EVERY.SINGLE.FRIGGING.NIGHT!

This is the “non-crap” corner of the house.
A clever craftmaster friend made these cushions. Coupled with DH’s ridiculous standards of Christmas styling… This is the daydream area of The Compound.

And yes, I can crapify even a lovely Chrissy sanctuary (above) with this shit christmas mug. I drink the brown life-elixir from it every day from the 1st of December….

We try this every year. The results are always craptacular, and nothing like the DH version above.

The kids call these the NutNut animals (I know: weird) they are from Bali, and all I can assume is that the Balinese have no idea what Christmas is, but they do know that idiots from Australia really will buy anything if it’s cheap enough. QED.

Necessary to set the mood, no? This is a small selection of my stuff. (Yes, there is MORE on the ipod… Happy Days)

A few years back I was the fundraising organiser for kindy, so I needed to boost the numbers. Hence: my very own stylish picture plate.

Of course there’s napery. SO MUCH NAPERY. For, who can resist it??

Test tubes. With red Christmas lights. Made in our initials by the talented Ben from Infinity Eco Furniture. I suppose you can guess what kinds of “experiments” occur when these babies come out to play… Let’s just say that what happens on the iDeck, stays on the iDeck (I’m looking at YOU Christmas 2013)

Oh yes, I will be subjecting people to Christmas games…

My Christmas earrings. There is more (oh so much more) where this came from, but I thought I’d just show you the classy shit.

Christmas crockery.
There is SO much more than this, including (of course) an entire set of gold-rimmed crockery and glassware (minus one, as smashed by someone who WAS smashed back in the great Christmas debacle of ’09.)

An assortment of crappy christmas tableware. A must for every tragic family..

NOT crap!
My gorgeous chrissy handbag. It’s hand-crafted from a kimono, and was given to me a few years ago by the owner of “Kimono Collections” who understands and encourages my addictions.
I LOVE THIS BAG.

So there you have it, the tip of the Asher Christmas iceberg. Whew, I think I need a good lie down now….

What about you? Any Chrissy Crap to share?

…From The Ashers

Here are the hits of the week:

1. The last day of school. Yay!! How good is the thought of long hot, Summer days stretching out in front of you? Man, I love this time of the year.

These dudes had a great year, finishing on a high.

Liam’s teacher got me aside and asked if I knew that he was “really smart”? Yeah, we kinda guessed after the time when he was almost four and he asked me how a rainbow was made, and after I gave a (might I say) grouse story about rainbow fairies painting the sky, he looked at me, deadpan and said, “Now what is it really?” I explained the Dispersion Effect and he said, “Why didn’t you just tell me that? That is way cooler than some dumb paint fairies.” I guess he has a point.

And Coco? Well she showed us all a thing or two about tenacity. The kid is currently hanging out for blood (we are trying to tough it out for another week or so: Tantrums R Us) and has a haemoglobin of around 65 (For reference: you are probably thrumming along with about 130 or so right now) and she had her swimming carnival this week. She has never swum 25 metres before, but in the carnival she did. Powered along. For about ten metres. Then somehow swam the rest of the lap. Came second last. Had to be lifted out of the pool sobbing with exhaustion like a limp little yellow jellyfish, amidst cheers from the other kids. Eric the Eel, you’ve got nuthin’ on Coco Ricki Asher.

2. Oh yeah. Nath (legend) got me one o’ these babies.

Imma be filling THAT thing out today.. After I gaze at its empty magnificence, full of potential, for a few minutes. Sorting the new calendar is one of my favourite end of year rituals.

3.  Talking of rituals, I started a new one this year. Got us a little jar and some tags, and instructed everyone to jot down things during the year. The jar is called “Cool Stuff that has happened.”

As you can see, the contents are a little meagre. I suspect that I may be the only one with any entries. I intended to open in on New Year’s Eve, but we will be ON HOLIDAYS IN AMERICA then, so I think we might do it in the next week. My plan was to string them up in a sort of garland thingy. Seems it’s gonna be a little shorter than I thought. Hopefully it will be so much fun that the other lazy bastards in this house will be more excited to do it next year. We shall see.

4.  Check out our teacher gifts. Made by me. Okay, not made by me. Paid by me. Made by Sprinkles, which is a better result for everyone concerned I think. It’s always good if the edible gift is, actually edible, I find. They looked so amazing I almost felt like keeping them for myself, just to admire them for a bit longer. If you need something impressive looking for your service providers, or those friends who appreciate the finer things, get yourself over to their Facey account right now.

**Not sponsored, but Clare and Fi HAVE given me free cupcakes before, well they gave them to the children, and I slipped and fell, and they somehow ended up in MY belly.**

5. Christmas STUFF. I’m going to write you a post about some of our Christmas Rituals, coming up soon (I know, we tackle the big issues over here at The Asher’s), but it appears I have come to be known as something of a ‘Christmas Tragic’, a phrase coined by our babysitter. I happily adopt that moniker, and with it comes some perks, one of them being that people now give me Christmas Crap. I cannot tell you how awesome this is! Not only do I get pressies (This week I have ALREADY been given some brain teasing puzzles, mini-fruit cakes and the motherlode of all shortbread) but I also get fantastic STUFF.

Check this out:

IT’S A HANDMADE LAMP. Made by the people who gave it to me. Have you ever seen anything so cute? The kids adore it. Liam, because he appreciates the work that has gone into it, and Coco because it has tiny people and her chubby little fingers can walk up and down the stairs. (Sorry the pic is a bit dark- I wanted to show you it all lit up.)

And from the same people, this:

The top part rotates around and PLAYS A BLOODY TUNE. Perfect for the Grisashers.

I may have mentioned we are GOING TO AMERICA, and we have to wear an Ugly Christmas Sweater. Which don’t exist in Australia, as far as I can tell. So this week another patient gave me the worst jumper ever. I promise I will model it for you shortly.

How SHIT am I gonna look, with my tiny head poking out of the top of this bugger? It’s PERFECT. Yet, how rude: when Suze gave it to me she said, “It’ll be so funny, with your little pinhead. You’ll look like a shit little elf.” So yeah, it’s great that my people treat me with such respect and deference. Nothing like professional boundaries.

So that’s it from me: Your turn now. What have you been Hitting on this week?

…From The Ashers

1. Vanilla almonds. How good are they? I wanted to show you a pic of the packet, but I ate them all and threw it away. I’ll never be a food blogger, but I can tell you they are in Coles and they are delicious and salty-sweet. Do yourself a favour.

2. Tupperware lunchboxes. Do you have them? They are grouse because they have all of the little compartments so you don’t have to use any Glad Wrap or anything like that, but unfortunately, like all kids things that leave the house without your supervision, they get chucked around. Usually by Term 4 the lid will have cracked a bit. But because they are Tupperware, they replace them for you. For free! We just got two new ones from my local Tuppy lady. Such a good thing. Don’t waste any more money on the stinky other brands: go the Tuppy.

3. Al-Lani’s Angels. A group of unreal ladies, giving up their time during this silly season to make softies for the Mirabel Foundation, to make sure some little kids who are going through some tough times, will have something to cuddle this season. In all of your rushing around this December, in the buying and the organising and the splurging on stuff, it would be really nice if you could think of something that might help out a child who doesn’t have a lot. You know what to do. Perhaps put aside a little time today to set that up. It’s worth the effort.

4. Rain. FINALLY we got some to help us through this heatwave. On the downside, that meant frogs. Croaking. I mean REALLY croaking. In our down pipe. Near my bedroom window. ALL NIGHT.

5. Basking in my own virtuous glow, cos I’ve gotten all my Chirstmas shopping done and wrapped. I love all things Christmassy, but I get a bit antsy if I have too many outstanding tasks at this time of the year, because fun things to do always pop up. Getting it done and dusted is a massive relief. A special thank you (as always) to Sprinkles, the local cupcake and hamper specialists. I always get them to make me up some delicious things that I like to try and palm off as my own (it doesn’t work of course- my reputation precedes me).  All that remains now is to procure some Ugly Christmas Sweaters for our jaunt to America. Anyone in SE Queensland know where I might find such a thing???

I hope you had a fun week too, and have been able to have some time to sit quietly before it all really gets going.

What are your hits? Are you a Christmas shopping nerd like me?

…From The Ashers

I like us all to have new outfits on Christmas Day, or if not new, then at least Christmas themed, in that they have to be red, white or green, or a combination of all three. Silver and gold are also acceptable.  Many, many things in The Asher home are in the colours of Christmas during December.  Upstairs, the colours are red, white and gold.  I can also allow silver.  In my office it’s green and white all the way.  In Unit One’s bedroom: blue and red.  Unit Two has pink and white.  (Now I know pink and blue “are not Christmas colours”, but: boy and girl.  Plus, the ornaments for their little trees were too cute to pass by.)

But I’m meandering.

This year, as always I got my Christmas stuff done early (RRs may have noticed me gloating in a previous post or ten), except for MY outfit.  I just haven’t been able to find a thing to wear.  Not in the theme colours at least.  I have schlepped to The Plaza a couple of times, which, shockingly, involves me: 1. Leaving the compound,  2. Leaving The Shire,  3. Crossing the river.

Nothing.

I thought I was going to have to resort to one of the outfits I have worn over the last ten years or so.  First World Problems right here people.

And then there was today, when the first Christmas Magic occurred.

This morning we Ashers were well and truly out of bounds, all the way down there at the computer chop-shop in Mooloolaba.  When we saw this:

Josie Bird… So cute. Flamingos in the window too.

How’s a girl to resist?

We went in, the kids took their seat on the big hand chair, and I began.  I’m not shy to do a bit of shopping or a bit of trying on, so the kids got out their books and settled in for the long haul- they know how I roll.  I perused the area- not difficult, it’s not a huge shop, and it’s not annoyingly cluttered with so much stock you can’t see things properly, but I didn’t see too much in the good ole theme colours.

The chirpy little thing behind the counter, who I shall call Josie Bird, if only because I like the way it sounds, asked if I needed any help.  Now this is where I usually get a bit embarrassed during what I like to call The Season.  I want to ask if they have anything suitable for Christmas Day, but I have so many rules: it must be red, white or green, it must be comfortable enough to encase and erase my Chrissy Day abdominal distention, it must look cute with heels, but not so short that heels are required at all times, it must be cool enough so that I can be in the kitchen (if I can’t avoid it), but warm enough so I can sit on the Top Deck late into the evening, and it must be modest enough that I won’t be flashing my scanties once I’ve imbibed.  And this old girl must look at least vaguely hot.

So I can’t really ask.

Today, Josie Bird was so gosh-darn full of pep, I decided to ask for just one of the requirements: the colour.  Immediately she was up and passing me a filmy little thing, that had a bit of red, and felt lovely in the hand.  I rarely ask for advice in shops (it may surprise you to know I may be a little controlling and opinionated) as I know what I like, but Josie Bird was so sweet I popped out of the cubicle for her to have a squizz, already shaking my head, “No”.

Josie Bird took one look at the Old Bird in front of her and said, “Not Christmassy enough, you need some more red, here you go,” and handed me a necklace that I would never choose with my own mind, and there it was: Christmas had come to The Ashers, or at least to this fussy, grumpy, tired-from-kids-camping-and-not-sleeping-last-night,  Asher.

Thanks Josie Bird.  What a ray of sunshine you are.

And here’s the reveal:

The outfit: sorted

Close up: loving the red

Cue the soundtrack  (Clearly the old Styler doesn’t know the colour-code constraints)

Do you have a new outfit for Christmas Day?  What’s it like? 

PS Not a sponsored post… Just sharing the Christmas Magic with y’all.