Bunnings Shithouse (?)

Have you ever been to Bunnings?

I seriously hate that joint.  With serious and hate.

Why do the aisles not line up?  Why is the coffee so awful?  Why does it smell so bad?  And what scorcery is it, that allows adults, dressed in bright red, to be so camouflaged by a bunch of tools, when their service is required?

I am alone in my Bunning hatred over her at The Asher House. On any given weekend, at least one person will say “Let’s go to Bunnings”.  The kids love to play there, Nath loves the rows and rows of tools that I won’t allow him to buy, and me?  Well I don’t love one single thing.

In fact, on a lazy Saturday, the husband thinks Bunnings ticks all of the parenting boxes.

  • Exercise for children, by playing in a “park”? Tick
  • Creative stimulation for children, by doing craft? Tick
  • Purchase of some thing or other for home improvement, in the hope of getting laid? Tick
  • “Healthy” lunch from sausage sizzle? Tick
  • Donation to charity via said sausage sizzle? Tick

Apparently everybody wins.  As long as I don’t have to go, that is.

So tonight was Halloween, and I was working until about 8.30pm, so ‘weening was up to Nath and Coco, (Liam is at school camp: my heart lives outside my body right now, but more of that another day when I can breathe again).  Those two little blue-eyes colluded together and chose what they would get up to.  They spoke in whispered tones and made their intricate plans, before announcing to me, “We’re going to Bunnings.”


Yep, apparently that cesspit of failed home improvement attempts also does celebrations: Easter, Christmas, Halloween.

So they went off at 5pm, excited and costumed. Things looked at little like this:

Halloween Coco

 Halloween Nathan

They arrived home well after 8pm.  Coco usually goes to bed at 6.30pm.  So I’m guessing they had some fun.  There was face-painting, craft, a jumping castle, billions of kids and a free sausage sizzle.  At the hardware store.

When I was tucking that strange li’l punkin-fairy-thingy up in bed, I asked her if she had a fun Halloween.  “Oh Mummy”, she said, “it was the best Halloween ever.  I love Bunnings Warehouse. The lowest prices really are only just the beginning.”

So there you have it.

Maybe the joint aint all bad.

(And who says my kids watch too much telly?)

Do you do Halloween?  

What did you go as?