Have you got a friend like mine? If you haven’t, you need to go out and get yourself one post-haste, and pandemic be damned. Let me tell you why..

When I first met Jools we had both showed up to the first day at a new uni in skimpy clothes and big hair (it was the early 90s and we were still attached to the hair, goddamn it). We would have been wearing scrunchies to match our tans.

The grade of any uni student back then could be read in the depth of the tans, and by the looks, Jools and I were solid Cs. Lots of time in the sun with our books, trying to convince ourselves that we were furthering our edumacation, when really we were just exciting our melanocytes.

The difference between us, was that Jools had swagger. You know that thing? When you meet someone and they are really comfy in more than just their Le Tanned skin, but in their own good self. And not in a showy or flamboyant way (although, by the look of Jools in that crop-top, she probably was pretty buoyant #boobenvy) but in that way that you just know that they know who they are- their strengths and foibles and the whole caboodle- and they are okay with that.

Yes, this is about my Glittery Cheer Leader

So it won’t come as a surprise to know that pretty soon Jools had a little crop of butterflies drawn to her shine. And rightly so. Because the thing about Jools, is that one of her gifts is that she embraces the truth of who she is so effortlessly, that it somehow rubs off, and settles on your own skin like so much disco glitter. And pretty soon you can’t help but feel like maybe, just maybe, you are okay to be who you are.

As you look at your arms in fascination, turning them this way and that in the sun, watching the glitter catch the light, you start to think that some of the things you’ve been carrying around, that you are toofattoolazytoodumbtoouglytooloudtoomuch are not too at all. They are just you.

And you is a pretty okay thing to be.

My glittery friend turned fifty yesterday, and still she shines like the sun. With a bit of moon-dust wisdom thrown in as well. She was the first person to show me that I could be all of me without the need for apologies. And that is glitter that is worth the riches of all the world.

Happy birthday, Old Luv. Thanks for cheering us all on, for all those times, when you were just being you. You sure do bring meaning to the word cheers.

Country Life: You don’t get this stuff growing wild at my place.

I have had a weekend of fun and funny catch-ups with friends, and has given me pause to think about how different we all are.

I think that I have the best job in the world, and so some days I look around at all of the people, doing all of the different things, and wonder at why they aren’t all chiropractors like me.

I think that I live in the best part of the world, and so some days I look around at all of the people, living in all of the different places, and I wonder at why they don’t all live at my place.

And the list goes on.

Because every day that I consciously choose this life and the things in it, I am expressing my preferences and crafting out a little more of the story of my life. And because I love all of the things that I get to do, and feel so lucky that I have somehow been able to make all of these choices, I find it weird that not one single other person on this planet is choosing that same things as me. Why aren’t you all trying to muscle in on my space?

Could it be that you like your choices?

Seeing my country friends on Saturday, and the things they love, and then seeing my overseas friends on Sunday, and listening to the things they love about their home, made me smile and smile at how much I love the decisions I have made. All of the little choices that I have made over the passing years, that make me, me. I also loved that we are all able to sit around a table together, share a meal and some laughs, find our common ground and relish the things that make us similar, but then also search out the differences, and rejoice in the things that make us so unique.

Vive la difference!

…From The Ashers

Here are the hits from a full week (see what I did there?):

1. The full moon.

We had a great view from our deck until the clouds came over at the vital moment of eclipsing. As far as we could tell there was no “blood”- moonie looked the same colour as usual to me- but we still had fun sitting up there and talking about what things we were going to release from our lives.

Liam said he wanted to get  rid of bullying, in all of the world, not just for kids at school. I like the sound of that. Not a bad plan for a better world.

Coco said she would release herself from PKD and homework.

I, of course had a list of limiting beliefs and things I want to improve on.

Nath, as is his wont, said nothing.

2. This little blackboard jotting by Coco. Cool huh?

3. Fun on the Top Deck (also known as Bar Up by the so-called gentlemen, but I didn’t say that) with these two.

It’s always a laugh. They are our ‘pre-kid’ friends, so we have a history of misbehaviour and funny, funny nights together. Life is good when you have dudes like these two in your circle. Cheers B and S. (I haven’t called them that before, but I think I may start.)

4. This from my Instagram feed. I like it.

5. The kid’s school. We love the school holidays, the lazy days, the lack of schedules, all of the fun things we get to do together and don’t seem to have time to do during the normal week. As usual I was sad to see them go off on Tuesday morning, and wanted them back, but it is a relief and a balm to have such a lovely place to send them to. They both have gorgeous, caring and motivated teachers who really do look out for them and are helping us shape and guide them on their paths. Cheers to you school, and to you teachers.

What are your hits this week?

Did you see any bloody moon? And if so, can you send me a pick of it actually red?

…From The Ashers

Isn’t it a magical thing when you meet someone new, and you just click?  Slide on into a groove.  Sometimes it can be like you’ve always known them.  And you can even be from completely different backgrounds and continents.

What is that?

I’d love to know.

Is it common interests, similar sense of humour, shared tastes?

I don’t know about you, but I know that it doesn’t seem to happen that often, but when it does, it’s profound.  I find there’s a weird settling in period, where you think you’ve found something special, a little seed that will grow into a friendship, if you give it the basics, but you don’t know if the other person has the same sense.  So you shimmy around each other a little, testing out the ground, seeing if this new little sprout will take hold, or if the elements will sweep it all away.

I know I can be a bit strange to other humans at times, but it takes everything within me to stop myself from coming over like a Kindy Kid: Do you wanna play with me, and be my friend?  Wanna be in my gang?

It would be much simpler if that was socially acceptable, don’t you think?

Perhaps I’ll try it.

What about you, how do you make new friends?

What makes you click with someone?

…From The Ashers xxx

I had a friend once, she died a little minute ago, and I was her third best friend.

I know this because I shared my Five Friend Theory with her: that we can only have a certain number of friends in our lives, real friends that is, and I had deemed that I could have five friends, maybe seven at the outside.  So we jokingly made our lists, and then, continuing on with the laugh, ranked our friends in order.  So it became the Five Friend Theory and Ranking System.

I was her number three.

Not a great result, but not bad, as I was still in with a fighting chance should number one or two get sick, die, or put one of their prancyfancy little feet wrong.  “Third with a bullet” was how I liked to think of myself.

I didn’t invent the Five Friends Theory, a friend of a friend of mine did (I wasn’t on his list).  It was revealed to me in about 1993, and I have revered it ever since.  In my life I’ve found it extremely liberating, yet practical.

Someone at work is trying to get pally, suggesting after-work drinks and the like?  Sorry mate, you’re alright, but I already have my five friends.

Someone from the kids’ school trying to meet up for coffee and  impinge on your sitting-at-home-on-your-arse-staring-out-the-window time?  Sorry, I’d love to, but you see, I already have my five friends.

And on it goes.

Having such a list also clarifies things.  For example, if you find you are enjoying a chat with someone, and are tempted to see if they want to go for a walk to the National Park, or a trip to Ikea, first: consult the list.

Do you have a vacancy?

If yes, would you like to fill the vacancy?  (i.e. Are you taking applications?)

If no, can you create a vacancy by either eliminating someone, or putting them on the ‘drop off’ list? (The drop-off list is kind of like limbo)

See?  Very simple.  Sometimes there is a need to shuffle the rankings around a little, and of course fill vacancies, but other than that, the list maintains itself.  No time is wasted, forging friendships you can’t feasibly maintain.

So you can imagine my surprise and joy when Coco came home from school with a special little letter this week.  Special because it embodies all of the Five Friend Theory and Ranking System, then takes it to a whole new level of prestige and formality.

See for yourself:

It makes my heart swell to see the Five Friends Theory and Ranking System has reached the primary levels at school, and is being employed by seven year old girls.  I suspect the Grace may in fact be a little hasty in bestowing this honour on Coco as they have only met twice, but the sentiment is admirable none-the-less.

I don’t know who you are little Grace, but you made me cr-augh today.

Laugh at your intelligence and good sense in utilising the Five Friends Theory and Ranking System at such a young age.  It will save you much time in misspent and inefficient social engagements throughout your life.

Then you also made me cry.  Because I immediately wanted to show Hayls the certificate (and demand one of my own).  And then I remembered I couldn’t show her.

Because my third best friend is dead.

Still.

I know she would’ve read that note, and made the room full of her laugh.

I can imagine it perfectly.

And today, for that small thing, I am thankful.

Do you have a list?  I have a vacancy and it SUCKS.

…From The Ashers xx

It’s been a great week on the Sunshine Coast.  I can’t tell you too much right now, due to possible future blog fodder (I can’t use all my ideas at once you know), but The Canadians have been here, and we have done all things touristy.

So here’s the HITS:

1.  THE WHOLE SUNSHINE COAST.  We have been from Nambour to Noosa, Maleny to Maroochydore, Bli Bli to Boreen Point, and all the ridiculously named places in between, and every place has it’s own charm and point of difference.  Imma feeling pretty blessed to live in such a beautiful part of the world, and I’m so pleased The Canadians came and went, to help me see the place through tourist eyes all over again. This joint is bloody beautiful.  You should visit.

2.  Valentine’s Day Dinner.  I’m a definite non-romantic on the day (a bit of: don’t you tell ME what to do, calendar), but this VDay we decided to have a little celebration in our ‘party arena’ with the neighbours… Plus it was fun to force some romance on Twin Two and his bride.  We may have had some wine, just to toast St.Val of course… we’re not lushes you know.

I got my BabyMac on and made some watermelon loves

3.  Sisters-In-Law.  I have two now, and both times, within seven minutes of meeting them, I felt like I had known them forever. It eases my heart to see my brothers with such gorgeous, whip-smart, funny chicks, who fit right in to our little niche.  Smart guys, my brothers.

4.  Some fun news for the blog…. I can’t say much -because who knows what crazy ideas these kids are gonna come back with-  but I can say I am VERY EXCITED at what may happen over here in my little part of the Interwebz, in this Year of the Horse (I’m told it’s all about fast moving energy and quick decisions, and less about having a long face)… Anyway, you might, if you’re all well behaved, get a chance to read more about the behind the scenes stuff here in Asherland.   Maybe.

5.  Friends.  Just friends.

I’ve got some rippers.  Some of them are far away in Mextoria, but somehow they know just when I need a pep up.  Some are next door and open their house and their generous hearts to my visitors.  Some are people I haven’t met IRL, (weirdly), I met them on here, or Twitter, and yet I feel like they know me and I them.  Some are gallivanting around Australia, but still care about what’s happening in this little part of The Shire, and some ARE COMING TO VISIT NEXT MONTH, and then I’ll see them in Sydders just after that.

Cheers to friends.

Happy Weekened RRs

What are your hits?