Camping, Asher Style

So, the Evil Geniuses have me again…

Just for something fun, we set up the little old dome tent today.  Down our sideway.  The kids played around in it, had a picnic lunch, lazed around in their sleeping bags*, that kind of thing.  It takes minutes to set up and not much longer to dissemble, so I thought: “Who could it hurt?”

Me, that’s who.

They asked if they could sleep in it tonight.

“Sure, sure,” I said, knowing it would be just like last time they wanted to camp in the lounge-room, and they lasted all of seven minutes before I cracked it with them for mucking around and they were banished to their separate bedrooms.  Or just like the time before, when they wanted to sleep on the mats on the floor, and they lasted almost four minutes before they realised they had perfectly good, comfy beds in which to repose.

So, we went through the charade of settling them into the tent, pretending they would sleep there all night.


By themselves.

Exposed to all the child-stealing bandits who roam the streets of Noosa every night, praying to happen upon children allowed to camp down their sideways, so they can whisk them away and sell them to the bikie gangs that threaten to overtake our sunny state.  Or something.

Nath asked me how long I thought they’d stay out there.  I said, and I quote “If I was a betting chick, and you well know I am, I’d give them less than nine minutes.  I’d put fifty bucks on that.  And I’d give out awesome odds.  In fact I’d probably give out…(and here I made a lewd suggestion, which I shall not repeat in polite company)….”

To his peril Nathan did not take that bet.

And also to mine, because whilst I sat on the steps, waiting for some infraction or whinging or general teasing to escalate so I could banish them to County Beddington, they fell asleep.


This has never happened.  Coco has never gone to sleep in under five minutes in all her life.

And so here I sit.  Typing this, at the back door.  Waiting for one of them to wake up, so I can legitimately move them back to bed, and go to mine.  My gorgeous, spongy, lovely bed.  I think I can hear it calling me (or perhaps that’s Nath calling, thinking he did take that bet with the lewd suggestion).

It is 10.47pm.  I just went and zipped the sides up on the tent.  No one moved.

They are not waking up, are they?


So where did you sleep last night?

How comfy was your bed?  Don’t tell me.

*It should be noted here that they are not only evil, but mental. It was about 30 degrees here today. 87 in that tent. That dusty, stinky tent.  They were in sleeping bags people.